in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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