I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
