Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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