Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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