TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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