Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
