you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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