the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
