We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
