lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Randomize
