just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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