I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
