To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
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