i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
