i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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