There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
