my soul wont recognize me after tonight
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Randomize
