I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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