Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Just pee around me
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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