Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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