i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
