He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
