Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
