All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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