I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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