Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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