I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
