I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
