Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
