Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
