so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
"it" just moved
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
