I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
