This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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