she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
