this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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