redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
