Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
