Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Randomize
