I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Randomize
