Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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