I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I supernannyed him into submission
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Randomize
