Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
