I need help removing her.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
