you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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