I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
