Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
