You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Sober January is a disaster.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
