Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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