Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
