I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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