i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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