Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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